I’m just going to say this right now, because right at the beginning is as good of a time as any. If you hate fun, and you hate laughing your ass off, then don’t play this game. You might be better suited finding a rock and shutting yourself back off from all of humanity and interaction.
Towel Fight 2 is the BEST dual stick shooter for android yet. The game immediately tries to attack your funny bone, quickly following with comedic saturated gameplay. Hardick, the game’s main protagonist is a gentleman’s gentleman with a mustache that could make the dos equis guy hang his head in shame. Accompanied by his friendly little pug named Bella the two enjoy their day at the “dawg pawk” with a game of fetch. WAIT! Whats this?!?!? A dimensional maelstrom? What the hell? What kind of pawk is this? AND BAM! You’ve been transported to an otherworldly dimension where evil is afoot and you’ve been summoned as the last remaining hope to bring the justice hammer down upon the wrongdoers. Or.. rather just stare in their direction with the justice monocle. Stare intently! Why? Because that monocle, that oh so precious monocle that Hardick dearly loves has now become the monocle of destiny, and from it you can shoot powerful animals with exploding power at your foes. No evil is safe.
Towel Fight 2 has plenty to offer those who are either veteran dual stick fans or new to the genre. It’s not too hard to pick up but it certainly is not easy to master the controls. Playing reminds me of A Link to The Past, where you must venture from room to room obtaining items to help you on your journey. Pick the right direction or thou shalt be met with impending doom. You start off with just one trusty animal in your monocle clip. The frog which is your “bread and butter” of the clip as Butterscotch Shenanigans has put it. Bread and butter indeed as you can use the frog as many times as you want. You will pick up others along the way, first the goat which explodes into tiny shrapnel gouging your enemies to bits. My favorite, however and clearly the most fun so far is the Twitbird. You can obtain this as soon as you find the item vendor “Grubby” who as you may guess once you look at him, is a giant grub worm The first item for sale on his list of inventory is the Twitbird. All you need to purchase this hash tag exploding artillery is follow Butterscotch Shenanigans on twitter. It’s that easy.
There are many other “jectiles” you can obtain to unleash hell-fury by finding them throughout the game, and you can even power up the ones you have loaded in your clip by finding or purchasing augments. Items seem to be purchasable by gaining gold which drops from enemies. Certain augments let you get more gold if the jectile it powers up gets the killing blow. Aren’t you guys already hooked? Jectiles, augments, and shooting animals out of your face. There’s nothing wrong in that equation. Not long after the first 5 minutes of the game I found a “GPS” which serves as your map, and allows you to see the rooms you’ve cleared to give you a better sense of direction and where to go, but it also lets you teleport back to the base room where grubby the vendor is. Quite useful in a time of need. There are a total of 40 weapons and 80 augments, with 14 power ups to blast you into victory. I mean who couldn’t use a zombie whistle? I haven’t even obtained it yet nor know what it does but I want one!
The game is pretty clear cut. The object is to clear rooms and obtain keys, while simultaneously beefing up Hardick to godly proportions of power to face the nefarious Forn and dispose of him forever. While the game is not short on play content by any means, I find myself that the dialogue is the front runner here as you certainly don’t want to miss a bit of the text. Procedurally generated rooms should keep you busy to no end, as the insanity just keeps going. You will even come across dungeons from which you may obtain the most powerful items in the entire game. This is the only place they can be found anyway. On top of all of that there is the Arena of The Gods where you can wager your gold to increase the difficulty of the arena and hence receive better loots. Better loot is always good. Don’t get greedy though.
Overall, I found that Towelfight 2 had met every expectation and more I had conjured up in my head when I first read about it. From not being a real big fan of the dual stick games, I have been converted and will have trouble putting this down. If you want to give this game a try, you can pick it up from the link below for just $0.99. What a steal!!! But hurry, $.99 is just the promotional price, after tomorrow it will ascend to the Normal price of $2.99. (which is still a good deal. Empty your pockets bitches! You guys aren’t really bitches we love you all it just felt right in the moment.) Now if you’ll excuse me, there is a little white bearded indian man winking at me who clearly needs my direction.